It started in 3rd grade. Too young? Maybe.
I would come home from school and find my mother and sister watching it. They would get so excited- everything was so dramatic. Lots of crying, lots of passionate make-outs, glasses being thrown against walls and shattering to the floor mirroring the characters broken hearts and dreams. It was called General Hospital and I was hooked...
I'd like to take a moment to say that I have been clean and sober of my soap opera addiction for years now. And although I use the word addiction in jest... it's not totally off. I spent an hour 5 days a week devoted to watching the show. Then there were the magazines, the discussions with friends, and the ultimate dream of moving to Hollywood and being on the show myself (And I'm still totally open to that and would like to mention I can cry on cue). But by now, I thought I was totally free and clear of it all. That is until I realized, I have a Sony Corinthos Complex.
Sony Corinthos was the mysterious, "sexy" (a little out of my age range for this to ring true for me), dangerous man who always wore suits and answered only to himself. His professional title to the public was a coffee importer/exporter. But he was running the local mob. He was untouchable- could have everything and anything he wanted. Totally free from rules. And his still waters ran deep as we watched him fall in love hundreds of times with different beautiful women. But the most famous of Sony's relationships was his relationship with Brenda Barrett.
Of all of the soap opera couples they were my favorite. She was so beautiful and loved this damaged man more than any of the other woman that came in and out of his penthouse. He left her at the alter, she came back from the dead. They almost died more times then I could count- envoking a sense of a Romeo and Juliet kind of love. Even when Brenda was with Jax, an Australian business man who worshiped her, we all knew her heart would always belong to Sonny no matter whose ring was on her finger.
Needless to say it was interesting when it dawned on me that General Hospital had not left my life with a clean break as I thought it had. It had left an imprint on me. I realized this when I noticed that even while I was dating someone who was perfectly great on his own. I found myself upset that I didn't feel that crazy, obesessive spark that I felt with... well... my very own Sonny Corinthos.
It was love at first sight- for me at least. He wasn't running a mob (although he did partake in some illegal activities). He wasn't dangerous, but he was mysterious. He was a rule breaker. He was gorgeous. And he made my heart race. And no matter who I was with and how great they treated me, I couldn't seem to let go of him. And yet just like Brenda, I always found myself standing alone in the rain- ok figurative rain, and see the video below if you're not a GH fan.
And only recently have I realized how unhealthy this is. Soap Operas are not real life (did I really need to learn that?). And there is something about young love that lifts us up and knocks us so hard to the floor that makes it feel super important. But love isn't obsession. Love isn't leaving when the other person wants and needs you most. And what Sonny and Brenda had, doesn't work after 25. The same way 4 hours of sleep doesn't seem to cut it anymore, neither does the guy who keeps you on hold. If there's a person in your life coming into your mind for almost every Lana Del Rey song you hear... you may have your own Sonny Corinthos Complex too...