I've been working on interviewing people for The Mayalouise Project (coming soon to the site). These people are making their own way in the world, sticking to what is authentic to them, and in doing so- making the world a better place. Needless to say this has left me feeling super inspired. Due to this inspiration, I've been experiencing this odd feeling.. this feeling that says, not only is everything going to be okay, but it's going to be amazing, and your dreams can and will come true. WOAH! Really??
These are shoes I haven't worn in the longest time (about 10 years time to be more specific). And they are so comfortable that I should have known my ego would be around the corner to trip me and break this "the world really is good and magical" spell that I was under. So yesterday, I tripped.
I was at work and extra stressed as we were low on people. And all of the upcoming expenses I had started running through my mind. I felt so overwhelmed. I felt ill equipped. I wanted to cry. I wanted to know HOW I was going to solve all of these problems.
WHAT HAPPENED? I had started the morning in a state of bliss feeling like I was on the right path. Feeling like the universe and I were finally on the same page, and now all of the sudden my fears of the future were worse than ever. If I really believed in manifestation and that the universe was on my side, how could these fears be real?
I slept on my issues, and luckily this morning I got to talk to one of these awesome people on my interview list, and she gave me great advice. The advice was, "Don't worry about the HOW". She went on to tell me that we don't know HOW the universe is going to take care of things, we just have to believe it will, and it will. It sounds simple. It sounds reckless to the logical part of us. But it's true. And I know this because when I look back into my life at the times I really wanted or needed something, but didn't know HOW it would happen.. it happened anyway. It turns out that when we are focused on the right feelings/outcome/idea... the HOW will take care of itself.
A FEW EXAMPLES:
When I was trying to get into San Diego State University I was blindsided with the information that they did not accept lower division transfers. I would have to be up to junior status in credits to be accepted. I only had a year of college under my belt and would have another semester to do as much as I could. HOW was I going to fix this? I certainly didn't have a plan when I got that information. I felt really crushed actually. But then I found out some other information.. like that I could test out of classes and earn the credits for them without adding them to my schedule. And that I could "overload" that last semester and reach just enough credits... to get accepted.
And as my college years came to close, and I was wondering HOW I was going to continue to live in California after graduation, I took a trip to Vegas and mindlessly kept pushing the "max bet" button on a slot machine. And then bells and whistles went off... because I hit a progressive jackpot. I paid my rent for an apartment 7 blocks from the beach with that money for six months.
Another example that came to mind was being an overweight kid. I can't remember a time in my childhood that I was not aware of being fat. It was a constant in my life, but I knew it wouldn't always be that way. I had no idea HOW I would lose weight, but deep in my heart and mind I knew that I would. Come to think of it, as I child, I didn't really worry about it. I felt sad about it, but I didn't worry about HOW to change it. And then the universe took care of it. The universe delivered (via my grandparents) a used treadmill from a garage sale right to our basement. And I started walking on it, then running on it. And with a commitment to a new love of running, and some hard work, the weight came off.
I'm not sure HOW I will "fix" the problems in my life that I stress about. I'm not sure exactly HOW I can cut ties with "the man" and never have to work for someone again because I'm able to support myself by doing things I love. I'm not sure HOW everything will work out. But here's to believing that everything truly will. :)